I am waiting, waiting to go back to Haiti. Whether that is for a short-term mission trip again or more, I am waiting. Meanwhile God has made it so clear to me that I am in to work in Minneapolis teaching inner city kids, serving Him while I am waiting to go back to Haiti. My passion for Haiti is God-given..so, someday soon I WILL go back. I am not going to even attempt to lie, this is hard a lot of the time. I have to remind myself a lot lately that God will send me back to Haiti when His timing is right because I desire so much to just jump on a plane. (I was in fact looking up plane tickets just yesterday out of curiosity as to how much they are running right now). It is hard to close my eyes at night and see the faces of so many beautiful Haitian children. Those children are HIS. He has them in his great big hands and this I do know and am starting to believe and live out through not living in worry and anxiety. It is challenging though when I would at any moment drop everything and follow Him if told me tomorrow that I have student loans covered and can move to Haiti and teach there. This however, is not how God is doing things. He is, of course, doing them his way, not mine, which in the end I will be grateful for, but right now, it is difficult.
God is saying, "wait".
What is so difficult about waiting? I mean why can't I just wait? I am so anxious and it eats me alive. Forgive me God for my anxious thoughts and desires. These thoughts are not of you LORD and they have no place in my mind! Do I not believe that God can take care of those children without my help? If so, I have it truly backwards! Am I believing that I can do things better than God, the creator of the universe and who sustains every living thing on this whole plant?! This may sound funny as I am writing it, but I am sure that everyone reading this has had the same thoughts as me! Be honest. How big do you really think God is? Big enough to handle difficult family situations or changes in life? Big enough to handle your wayward child or all the heartache you are going through from the loss of a loved one? Something that I am learning through my season of waiting is gaining a bigger picture of who God is. Jesus said that we are to go to him, right to his feet as we are and give it all to him because HE CAN HANDLE IT! He already knows and can see how it is all going to end and He wants to give His children good gifts. All He is asking is for us to trust Him, His timing and His big hands. This I am learning. Do I struggle with this because I am so greatly bless and don't live a life fearing for my life because I worship the ONE true GOD YAWEH and have enough food and clothing to last me a while? LORD JESUS HELP ME! Forgive me for not seeking your face as much as I need to. May my faith be genuine and real, not some fake American Christianity. I want to be on fire for you and set this world on fire for you!
The world is God's and everything in it, it's all at His command. The Haitian children are God's, so are the inner city kids in Minneapolis or the Somali children in Wisconsin or the upper-class children in LA! None are more important than others!
We are a body of Christ and we are meant to be just that so we can reach this world for Christ!! We are to build each other up. Thank you to all of my friends around the world serving for the LORD! It is truly amazing to see the body of Christ at work. Whether in Wisconsin, Taiwan, Haiti, Thailand, Minnesota, Africa...we are the body at work! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!! No more comparing each other, but let's build each other up as we serve where God wants us to be. I confess to comparing myself to other brothers and sisters around the world serving the LORD in a different country. Please forgive me. I am done and am want you to know that I will lift you up in prayer daily and I will focus on the mission God gave to me in Minneapolis. And together we will bring people to the ONE, TRUE GOD who's mercies are new every morning!
So no matter what season of life you may be in right now, 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." and if you are waiting right now for God to speak or move or whatever, join me on my knees praying and asking God for more of Himself and serve Him with all you have, regardless of season! We serve a great and mighty God who wants to use the weak to lead the strong! It is all about Him, not ourselves.
Psalm 107...Let us give thanks to God for His lovingkindess is everlasting!
AMEN.
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