What I am here for, like here on this earth for? This is the big question I have been wrestling with lately. I mean, I know that God has a purpose for me here on this earth, but that time here is so short! HOW AM I SPENDING IT?!? I look at the world around me and see sadness and turmoil. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep thinking about all the hurting people in this world. I was talking to Evens, a dear friend from Haiti, and he was telling me more about the school in Leogane(which my church in Minnesota supports) and it broke my heart to listen to him as he explained how the school is doing. The teachers there aren't even being paid for teaching these kids. They have hardly any supplies to teach and live on basically nothing, working as many other jobs in the evenings that they can find to be able to feed themselves and their family. This is just one group of people living a life we could hardly even imagine! What hurt the most I think was hearing Evens tell me what the teachers say to him. They ask Evens all the time why people just come and take pictures and "help" for a few days and then leave and then they never see them again or see the help they really need to get them back on their feet. As he was talking to me, I grew sick to my stomach. I am so blessed even my trails aren't nearly as bad as people all over the world go through on a daily basis. And THIS is the reason I believe God is calling me to leave my comfortable life here and help those who need to be helped. THAT is why I am on this earth!
In the past 4 years God has opened my eyes. He has called me to go. I believe that he is going to send me out. I don't quite know when or where exactly, but I know he is preparing me now. That is why even though I face trials of all kinds, big and small, right now, I rejoice because God is just preparing me for all that is in the future. I have to keep eternity in the picture always! There is so much more than this pathetic life of collecting as much crap as I can here on this earth! I am done storing up treasures on this earth! We don't know how much time we have on this earth! I am so sick of American Christianity, of people who claim to be Christians yet live a life style that is completely opposite. Now I am not perfect in anyway and struggle with this at times too, but I really do want to become more like Jesus. That is what I am called to do.
I don't know how you all are responding to what is going around you, but it is all very real and we don't have much time left to say "tomorrow I will go help those in need". Jesus said let the dead bury their own and to drop everything and give everything up and follow him. That is it! Why do we American Christians make it into what we want to? I don't get it! People are dying right now and going to Hell. Maybe one of you reading this don't have a personal relationship with your creator who loves and cares so much for you. He isn't going to force you into a relationship with himself, that wouldn't be love at all. This is going into a different blog that I will have to write more about later. I want to stay one train of thought for now...
I want to be used by God and want to see this world changed for HIM! And I believe I can do this, follow Him, into possibly Haiti. I really feel this is where God's leading, but this is what I am asking my brothers and sisters in Christ to do for me, PRAY. I need God's direction more in my life to know where to go after college. I absolutely LOVE it here in Minnesota. I love my church, but more importantly the people who make the church. Leaving will be hard, but I know that God is going to move me. I need prayer for this change as well. Change is very hard for me. I really appreciate your prayer and will keep you all updated on all that God does with me.
I trust in Him.
Katelyn
