Friday, May 27, 2011

Blind and deaf

These past few months have been some of the craziest times of my life thus far and right now I feel like I'm drowning. I can't see and I can't hear. It just seems like one thing after the other keeps happening whether it be car problems, job problems, relationship problems...the list goes on and on. As I was reading through my latest blogs they all seem to relate somewhat to each other so I don't want to just keep rambling about the same thing but this time I am truly at the bottom of my rope. Being an adult is not fun, but this is how God designed us, to grow up...I am just going to be so real in this blog and ask lots of questions. If you want to keep reading you may.

Why can't I seem to hear or see God??? My lack of faith? I mean, I see and hear God at times, but right now there is so much I can hardly take it anymore. I keep dumping loads of money, that I don't really have, into my car. I am not working full time yet so I can barely support myself. My family is struggling a lot finacially right now. I want to be here in Minnesota because I love the area and my church family. I want to start my life here, but I'm so confused I guess...am I suppose to live at home? I am just so much more connected in Minnesota... I know some of you reading this may be bias to me moving home but I don't want to base my decision off of that. I really do ultimately want to do what GOD wants me to, but I'm so deaf and blind!!!! I've been trying very hard lately to take it one step at a time and live by faith, but it's getting harder. I guess Jesus never said it'd be easy, but oh my word....I NEED PRAYER!!!! I need God!!! Please brothers and sisters in Christ, whether in Wisconsin or Minnesota or Haiti or Thailand...I am asking you to pleae pray for me that God will open my eyes and ears. I need him to help me.

I guess that's all for now.
Thanks for reading.