Never Underestimate my Jesus

We are all praising God as HE has brought little Anaika back to the orphanage and not only that, but had her father agree to all adoption terms! She is safe! Jasmine said that when they picked her up she giggled all the way home. I am seriously blown away by the work of the Lord. Immediately the verse that came to mind is the one I have on my journal next to my favorite picture of Anaika which is 2 Timothy 2:13 "If we are faithless, He remains faithful. He cannot deny himself." God's will WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL! Thank you, Lord. It's fun how God chooses to do things sometimes and reveal things to us in HIS timing. We are always planning, planning, planning. I know I am guilty of doing this, planning and planning and then there is no room for God because I think I have the best plan so when God comes in I say I will seek him and pray for "his will", but really I don't let go of my plans. It sounds so dumb, thinking that my petty plans are better than God's, the God who created the whole world and is sustaining it all! In the last 5 years pretty much everything that I have planned for my life as I started to think about my future as I began my freshman year of college, have changed, but I am joyful and have peace because I believe that this is GOD'S plan for my life and I don't want to be in any other plan. What makes us think that we can plan better than God? Is it because we can only plan based on as much as we know so it seems safer? We think we know what is best and feel like we have control. But when you give God control you are blind, but he is the God of the whole universe! What is faith though? If you were to see everything you wouldn't need faith! God is the best one to have control of our decisions and plans! We truly have it backwards! I am ready to stop living in anxiety and fear and step into the life that Jesus came to die for. He came to give me life to the fullest! Once God does something that we never thought was possible, we have two options, we can either get so wrapped up in what he gives us and what will come next or we can be excited, but keep our eyes still fully on him and acknowledge that in the downs AND the ups we are in desperate need of him and without him we can't make it one step further in life. If we get to wrapped up in what God has blessed us with and take our eyes of the God who gives not only all that we need, but want, it can lead down a terrible path which in the end leads to destruction. This is what I don't want to go.

There is much on my mind right now. There are so many ifs and buts still with Anaika and with me as I make decisions about where to work and what God wants me to do with my life, BUT God doesn't tell me to look at the waves, but tells me to look to him and walk on the water. He is a good and gracious God. He saved a wretch like me! I have so much to learn still about what it means to live for God in every season of life. It is exciting though. God keeps telling me, "Watch Me do great and mighty things that you never thought were possible!" Suddenly it doesn't become about what I am going to do or where I am going to go, but it comes back to where it should be, all about God and what he has planned for my life and how we will get his glory through me. I am truly excited.

I ask you all to please keep praying for Anaika and my family. Adoptions are not cheap, but my God is not dead. He can do great and mighty things that surpass our understanding.

He is God. I am not.
All I am for Him!
Katelyn

Walking with my Daddy

This past week I began my journey with God as I started my new job teaching early preschool at a learning center in downtown Minneapolis. After learning how to get on right bus, and not always being too successful at it may I add, and also working in a highly diverse setting again, through it all, God has been teaching me a lot! I would say that what God has been teaching me recently here in Minnesota equals that which God taught me when I was traveling and living overseas. It is pretty crazy actually, but it is true. I never thought that God would be able to teach me what I am learning when I am not overseas, but low and behold, He is! I am so ridiculous at times doubting the One and Only true God of the whole universe! Lord, forgive me!

As I was sitting on the bus one of the mornings last week, doing my morning devotions, it felt like all of sudden my eyes were opened to the world around me. I saw the people, broken and hurting, all walking through life hopeless. It broke my heart. I then felt God reminding me of why he has chosen me and saved me. I am to spread the message of hope, Jesus Christ, to the hopeless. Not only am I called to love the children I am teaching and help them grow and develop into who they are suppose to be, but I am suppose to shine my light for Jesus as I commute. It all became so real to me after stepping onto the bus and into the learning center that God really does have a plan and is using me right here in Minnesota. Now, my desire to travel and someday live in Haiti is not gone, but after being with my little students for a week, I see why for now God has me here. My class of 22 has 6 different ethnic groups represented in it. That's more than my class in Thailand! Some of my students don't speak very good English at all, even though they were born in America! It is such a beautiful sight though, seeing all the different children from all different backgrounds, all learning in the same place. I don't know all their background stories and religions, but I know that Satan is threatened by me already. I get the privilege to pray over the children all day long and just love them like Jesus as I teach them the basic learning skills and content. Thank you, Jesus!

If he brings us to it, HE will get us through it.

I am not going to lie one bit, some day my attitude just stinks when I think about what I really am sacrificing in teaching and commuting to Minneapolis. (And also, coming to grips with the fact that I am not teaching in a school district yet or Haiti for that matter, like I had thought I would be, but that's not where God wants me right now!) Commuting isn't horrible, but it is definitely taking time to get use to. God has also been reminding me lately that when we follow him, he doesn't promise it to be easy, but he does promise to help us and walk with us. I am making some sacrifices, but knowing that I am doing exactly what God wants me to encourages me and energizes me! What better place to be than where God wants you!!! I am excited to see what God has in store for me this next year! It will most definitely not be smooth sailing, but it will be a great adventure and I will learn how to walk even more in step with God as he continues to lead me! Please pray for me as continue to adjust to my new position and new commute. God is good though! He has placed a very strong Christian teacher in my room to teach alongside of me :)

Walk with Him,
Katelyn

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I am waiting, waiting to go back to Haiti. Whether that is for a short-term mission trip again or more, I am waiting. Meanwhile God has made it so clear to me that I am in to work in Minneapolis teaching inner city kids, serving Him while I am waiting to go back to Haiti. My passion for Haiti is God-given..so, someday soon I WILL go back. I am not going to even attempt to lie, this is hard a lot of the time. I have to remind myself a lot lately that God will send me back to Haiti when His timing is right because I desire so much to just jump on a plane. (I was in fact looking up plane tickets just yesterday out of curiosity as to how much they are running right now). It is hard to close my eyes at night and see the faces of so many beautiful Haitian children. Those children are HIS. He has them in his great big hands and this I do know and am starting to believe and live out through not living in worry and anxiety. It is challenging though when I would at any moment drop everything and follow Him if told me tomorrow that I have student loans covered and can move to Haiti and teach there. This however, is not how God is doing things. He is, of course, doing them his way, not mine, which in the end I will be grateful for, but right now, it is difficult.

God is saying, "wait".

What is so difficult about waiting? I mean why can't I just wait? I am so anxious and it eats me alive. Forgive me God for my anxious thoughts and desires. These thoughts are not of you LORD and they have no place in my mind! Do I not believe that God can take care of those children without my help? If so, I have it truly backwards! Am I believing that I can do things better than God, the creator of the universe and who sustains every living thing on this whole plant?! This may sound funny as I am writing it, but I am sure that everyone reading this has had the same thoughts as me! Be honest. How big do you really think God is? Big enough to handle difficult family situations or changes in life? Big enough to handle your wayward child or all the heartache you are going through from the loss of a loved one? Something that I am learning through my season of waiting is gaining a bigger picture of who God is. Jesus said that we are to go to him, right to his feet as we are and give it all to him because HE CAN HANDLE IT! He already knows and can see how it is all going to end and He wants to give His children good gifts. All He is asking is for us to trust Him, His timing and His big hands. This I am learning. Do I struggle with this because I am so greatly bless and don't live a life fearing for my life because I worship the ONE true GOD YAWEH and have enough food and clothing to last me a while? LORD JESUS HELP ME! Forgive me for not seeking your face as much as I need to. May my faith be genuine and real, not some fake American Christianity. I want to be on fire for you and set this world on fire for you!

The world is God's and everything in it, it's all at His command. The Haitian children are God's, so are the inner city kids in Minneapolis or the Somali children in Wisconsin or the upper-class children in LA! None are more important than others!
We are a body of Christ and we are meant to be just that so we can reach this world for Christ!! We are to build each other up. Thank you to all of my friends around the world serving for the LORD! It is truly amazing to see the body of Christ at work. Whether in Wisconsin, Taiwan, Haiti, Thailand, Minnesota, Africa...we are the body at work! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!! No more comparing each other, but let's build each other up as we serve where God wants us to be. I confess to comparing myself to other brothers and sisters around the world serving the LORD in a different country. Please forgive me. I am done and am want you to know that I will lift you up in prayer daily and I will focus on the mission God gave to me in Minneapolis. And together we will bring people to the ONE, TRUE GOD who's mercies are new every morning!

So no matter what season of life you may be in right now, 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." and if you are waiting right now for God to speak or move or whatever, join me on my knees praying and asking God for more of Himself and serve Him with all you have, regardless of season! We serve a great and mighty God who wants to use the weak to lead the strong! It is all about Him, not ourselves.

Psalm 107...Let us give thanks to God for His lovingkindess is everlasting!
AMEN.

All of my life, in every season, You are still God!

This season I am in is one of the hardest by far in my life...I now realize why God had me go through some of the things these past 4 years, but it has taken me months to realize this. These past 3 months have been filled with so much sadness, depression, bad attitudes, and just things that are not good at all. I lost myself in the world. I was looking at the world and allowing myself to believe lie after lie about what I should be doing with my "life" and so on. Well, I am done.

I am in a difficult transition in my life, moving from college student to college grad and to be honest, it is harder than I thought it would be. First of all, I can barely handle change in general, but when it is big change, wow, that is tough. Leaving college, and the safety and comfort it brings along with a great community of friends, is extremely difficult. Not only that, but my heart is in so many different places from Haiti to Thailand. It is hard to understand where on this earth my place is. I am waiting...that's where God has me, the most difficult place one could be. But see, what He revealed to me today was this, "Katelyn, I have you right where I want you." It hit me like a brick up side my head. Instantly tears fell from my eyes. I have been fighting with him, screaming at him, telling him to show me where to go and here is where he wants me?!? Here in Minnesota! I can only be where God wants me! How awesome is that?!?! The amount of peace that overcame me is unexplainable. I love God so much and I am always saying I will follow Him where ever he leads...He is leading me to stay put. I praise Him for speaking to me. He really is there. He really does love each of us so much more than we can ever imagine. No matter the season of life, He is still God and we have a reason to sing and praise His great Name! I don't have all the answers by far, but I have a God who does.

My heart is still in Haiti and I have faith in God that in HIS timing He will lead me back down when He sees the timing is right. I will be a teacher whether in Haiti, Thailand, Wisconsin or Minnesota...working in the inner city or suburbs, daycare or school...My life is not mine, but God's.

Thank you to all of you who have helped me through my extremely, rough, dry season of life. I am now choosing to drink from the springs of life! I know my God has great plans for me and that is why I have hope! He has given me back my passion for Himself! Thank you Lord! My eyes are on Him, not this world. He is my everything and I will adore HIM!

Into marvelous light I'm running! :)
All I am for Him,
Katelyn


1 Corinthians 1: 25-31
"Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that he may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption so that, just as it is written, 'Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord'."

No words, just a broken heart

I can't even find the words to describe to you what I am feeling right now. Yesterday Anaika's father came and took her from the orphanage. This is something that is not too off the wall at this orphanage in Haiti because the parents don't necessarily sign their children over when they come to the orphanage, but they just allow the orphanage to take care of the children. She is among other children who's parents have come and "claimed" their children and there isn't much Jasmine or anyone can do about it. Parents triumph.

My heart is so heavy and the tears have stopped simply because I cannot cry anymore.I am on my face crying out to God and I can't help, but ask why. It is my human instinct to. I mean, since November 2009 God has placed Anaika on my heart. God is the one who started this passion for Haiti. I am fighting a lot of anger and lack of understanding. To even think about what she is going through makes me physically nauseous. That is best way I can describe it. God has allowed me to connect to this little girl in ways I really can't explain in words. I guess I don't fully trust that God can take care of her. She is so fragile, finally at a healthy, stable time in her life and now she is whisked off to a place she is totally unfamiliar with and is with people she doesn't know. She has never been outside the walls of the orphanage and has been there since she was a tiny baby.I can seriously feel the fear she has right now. "God, in the name of Jesus, take that fear away and replace it with YOU!" That's my prayer right now. I am trying to realize too though that if her father and other family really do want her and want to take care of her that is a good thing. It is still heart wrenching.

I know somewhere deep down inside of me that God really is in control and that is why this is a battle because my human need to fix things and do it myself kicks in and I can't. Even if I could get down there it would be like finding a needle in a haystack to find her and even if I did I have no rights to do anything...I am so discouraged. I miss her so much and now not knowing where she is or how she is doing is killing me even more. Somehow though I still do believe that God has a plan for her life. It may not be what I thought, but HE DOES HAVE A PLAN! She is HIS child!!

I do ask you to pray for her, myself and my family. Pray for protection for her and for God's will to do done in whatever that may look like. We aren't sure what is going to happen next and I am really not sure how to pray at all and it is hard on us all. God is still God though and he is still on his throne.

Trusting Him through the storm,
Katelyn

Blind and deaf

These past few months have been some of the craziest times of my life thus far and right now I feel like I'm drowning. I can't see and I can't hear. It just seems like one thing after the other keeps happening whether it be car problems, job problems, relationship problems...the list goes on and on. As I was reading through my latest blogs they all seem to relate somewhat to each other so I don't want to just keep rambling about the same thing but this time I am truly at the bottom of my rope. Being an adult is not fun, but this is how God designed us, to grow up...I am just going to be so real in this blog and ask lots of questions. If you want to keep reading you may.

Why can't I seem to hear or see God??? My lack of faith? I mean, I see and hear God at times, but right now there is so much I can hardly take it anymore. I keep dumping loads of money, that I don't really have, into my car. I am not working full time yet so I can barely support myself. My family is struggling a lot finacially right now. I want to be here in Minnesota because I love the area and my church family. I want to start my life here, but I'm so confused I guess...am I suppose to live at home? I am just so much more connected in Minnesota... I know some of you reading this may be bias to me moving home but I don't want to base my decision off of that. I really do ultimately want to do what GOD wants me to, but I'm so deaf and blind!!!! I've been trying very hard lately to take it one step at a time and live by faith, but it's getting harder. I guess Jesus never said it'd be easy, but oh my word....I NEED PRAYER!!!! I need God!!! Please brothers and sisters in Christ, whether in Wisconsin or Minnesota or Haiti or Thailand...I am asking you to pleae pray for me that God will open my eyes and ears. I need him to help me.

I guess that's all for now.
Thanks for reading.

Do You Believe in Me?

The question I heard God speak to me as millions of thoughts filled my mind tonight. Thoughts that were not from Him, but from my enemy. With the end of not only the school year approaching, but my undergrad journey, life seems to be going a million miles a second and breathing becomes harder. It is getting harder to remember who God says he is and remember how much he has done for me these past few years. It is easier to doubt. Maybe that is why James warns us against it so much. How much do I believe God, really believe Him? If I am quick to answer, I would say of course I do, but then my actions do not match up with what I am saying. If I really believed in God that means I would not worry about anything. I would literally take each day as it came, but see, I don't...this is wrong. I forget so easily who God is. I start to try to do everything on my own because I "know" what I am doing. Oh boy, am I in trouble now. Thankfully, God's never ending grace can save me from this horrible trap I have gotten myself into. But see, this is so tough. That means letting completely go. Letting go of the future and all that comes with that. Letting go of relationships. Letting go of finances.

I am at a spot where God is uprooting me and going to move me, BUT TO WHERE? I am so anxious and it is eating me alive. There are so many ifs and buts, I can't stand it anymore. I am becoming so consumed with trying to figure it all out myself that I no longer have my eyes on God. As I lay here on my bed and type, I am almost in tears again...fear of the unknown is a battle I am fighting, hard. Only God can give me peace that passes all understanding. He is what I need now, more than ever before. I look back and see how God has done so much in me and I see how much I have grown, but wow, do I still have so much more growing to do.

As most of you know, God has begun to do some great work in my life and opened my eyes to missions, going to Haiti and Thailand in the past year and half. I never thought I would be a mission overseas, but in the past few years God has been really working on my heart. He has truly given me his eyes to see the world the way he does. It is a blessing, yet can be a heavy burden which I have to constantly give over to God and ask him to help me work with. (crazy, huh?) You see, God has given me a new perspective on my life. What does it mean? I don't need have the crap that I have. Of course, being in the states I slowly become more concerned about the materialistic aspects of life, it makes me sick to my stomach really. It begins to eat me from the inside out. I have to have this and that...um, no, I don't! I struggle, don't we all.

With all this said, I have been praying lately about what God has called me to do next with my life. God has been speaking and telling me to take steps of obedience to move to Haiti come this August and teach at the orphanage for a year or two at the minimum. Of course, this requires sacrificing many of my things that keep me in my comfort bubble. But then I read the Bible that I claim to believe in and realize that that is what being a follower of Christ is all about. My life is not mine, but God's. Whether overseas or here in America this is what I am called to do. I feel that the next step I am to take is to go to Haiti and spend some time using the gifts God has given me to change the lives of those children who have nothing. I am so blessed...I NEED TO BLESS OTHERS! And here come the thoughts...oh the never ending thoughts of doubt and fear and whatever else that is not of God at all! It is a constant battle. But see there is so much peace when I think about obey this call on my life, I can hardly explain it to you. In fact, I am not even going to try. I believe that if God wants me to go to Haiti, nothing will stand in the way. Not even student loans. At least I think I believe this...This is what I mean. I look back on the past 4 years and see how much God has provided, when so many said I could never accomplish 4 years at a Christian college, let alone go on 3 mission trips. God is my provider! He can do anything that pleases him. I ask you, my brothers and sisters in Christ, to pray for me. I need to hear God's direction on my life even more. I need him to make it clear to me. I need to stop listening to the lies Satan is throwing at me.


I know that moving to Haiti will be a struggle at times, but not listening to God and not going will be even worse.

James says it well:

"But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves." -James 1:22

period. That sums it all up. ALL I am is for HIM. All for the sake of the living Gospel that so many need to know! Thank you for your prayers and support as I walk along this next journey with God. I love you all.

To God be the Glory, in ALL I do.

Come Cleanse Us like a Flood and Send Us Out

What I am here for, like here on this earth for? This is the big question I have been wrestling with lately. I mean, I know that God has a purpose for me here on this earth, but that time here is so short! HOW AM I SPENDING IT?!? I look at the world around me and see sadness and turmoil. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep thinking about all the hurting people in this world. I was talking to Evens, a dear friend from Haiti, and he was telling me more about the school in Leogane(which my church in Minnesota supports) and it broke my heart to listen to him as he explained how the school is doing. The teachers there aren't even being paid for teaching these kids. They have hardly any supplies to teach and live on basically nothing, working as many other jobs in the evenings that they can find to be able to feed themselves and their family. This is just one group of people living a life we could hardly even imagine! What hurt the most I think was hearing Evens tell me what the teachers say to him. They ask Evens all the time why people just come and take pictures and "help" for a few days and then leave and then they never see them again or see the help they really need to get them back on their feet. As he was talking to me, I grew sick to my stomach. I am so blessed even my trails aren't nearly as bad as people all over the world go through on a daily basis. And THIS is the reason I believe God is calling me to leave my comfortable life here and help those who need to be helped. THAT is why I am on this earth!

In the past 4 years God has opened my eyes. He has called me to go. I believe that he is going to send me out. I don't quite know when or where exactly, but I know he is preparing me now. That is why even though I face trials of all kinds, big and small, right now, I rejoice because God is just preparing me for all that is in the future. I have to keep eternity in the picture always! There is so much more than this pathetic life of collecting as much crap as I can here on this earth! I am done storing up treasures on this earth! We don't know how much time we have on this earth! I am so sick of American Christianity, of people who claim to be Christians yet live a life style that is completely opposite. Now I am not perfect in anyway and struggle with this at times too, but I really do want to become more like Jesus. That is what I am called to do.

I don't know how you all are responding to what is going around you, but it is all very real and we don't have much time left to say "tomorrow I will go help those in need". Jesus said let the dead bury their own and to drop everything and give everything up and follow him. That is it! Why do we American Christians make it into what we want to? I don't get it! People are dying right now and going to Hell. Maybe one of you reading this don't have a personal relationship with your creator who loves and cares so much for you. He isn't going to force you into a relationship with himself, that wouldn't be love at all. This is going into a different blog that I will have to write more about later. I want to stay one train of thought for now...

I want to be used by God and want to see this world changed for HIM! And I believe I can do this, follow Him, into possibly Haiti. I really feel this is where God's leading, but this is what I am asking my brothers and sisters in Christ to do for me, PRAY. I need God's direction more in my life to know where to go after college. I absolutely LOVE it here in Minnesota. I love my church, but more importantly the people who make the church. Leaving will be hard, but I know that God is going to move me. I need prayer for this change as well. Change is very hard for me. I really appreciate your prayer and will keep you all updated on all that God does with me.

I trust in Him.
Katelyn

rock bottom

The last few days have been completely crazy, to put it in the best way possible. If I was to begin to describe to you all that has happened I would probably just write on and on so I am going to spare all of you that and just tell you that since February 1, my life has been in a whirlwind. I have literally reached bottom, and I thought I had been at bottom before. I have shed many tears in the past 12 days. It truly has been rough, but through it all I have seen God at work and even though there were and still are many times when I want to just give up, God keeps giving me just enough strength to make it through and has placed many wonderful people in my life to help me through this time of trails. It brings tears to my eyes to think about how even when everything around me is falling apart, God has me tight in his arms. I am protected and loved. And when doubt comes rushing in I have to keep reminding myself of who MY GOD is! (Many people help remind me as well!) I am really learning about how even though things around me are constantly changing, God does not. And that's what gives me joy, hope and strength. It doesn't matter that things around me are changing, that people are coming and going in my life, that my schedule doesn't always go as planned. I serve a God who is bigger than all my problems (and schedules) and who loves me and PROMISES to take care of me, through it all! THAT is where my faith and hope lies. This really is what I have been learning more about...faith and hope (with JOY!) God has really just been giving me a bigger picture of who he is by stripping almost every security out from under me. I am not going to lie, it has been and still is extremely tough, but it is only when I am at my lowest that I feel and see God the most, which is totally wonderful.

On another note, God has also really been laying other things on my heart. I really think that God is calling me into missions, whether overseas or the inner-city somewhere, God is definitely calling me. I feel it in my gut. My heart just breaks for the lost and hurting. Especially today, I couldn't figure out why Haiti was on my heart so heavy today...it's the 12th. Its been 1 year and 1 month today since the earthquake. I cannot wait to be back there again. My heart is longing!!!! Only 51 more days! It is funny. I NEVER would have thought 8 years ago that I would have gone the places I have gone in the past few years. God has really changed me. He's given me his eyes and you know what, from that comes my heart just breaking looking at all that I see. It is crazy. I still can't believe that I was in Thailand for almost 3 months. I use to hate traveling and although I still do not like packing and flying isn't my favorite, I miss it. I miss Thailand. I miss Haiti. I miss so many things that it can become unbearable sometimes actually and I need God to really help me and calm me down. I wish that I could just go back to Thailand for a few weeks and see everyone again. I guess even though it was all stressful, flying and traveling overseas, it was also exhilarating! I actaully miss it. I also saw God in such amazing ways! I picked Tim to the airport tonight and realized how much I want to travel again. Funny. 8 years ago I would have told you there was no way I would travel overseas, getting out of my comfort zone, but now...wow! God has done some great things with me, things I would have never imagined! I know I am kinda being redundant right now, but I am just blown away by God...he is truly amazing! I hope that one day God can move me around even more as I share his love with this broken world!

All I am truly is for him. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me. I have been feeling your prayers as God teaches me some priceless things. Please continue to pray for me. I am in my last semester and my car is no more. Stress is insanely high, but I know I can count on God. And to all of you who are at rock bottom right now too, I want to encourage you and tell you that you are NOT alone. Do not listen to that lie anymore. Seek God and you WILL find Him. He wants to cover you in his love, mercy and grace. You have the choice to let him or not.

Ephesians 3:20-21
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

rock bottom and getting STRONGER,
Katelyn

1/12/10. i will NEVER forget.

Last year, about 2 hours prior to the time now (5pm), I recieved some of the most devestating news...Haiti had been hit by a 7.0 earthquake. I remember exactly where I was sitting in the kitchen as I froze, staring at my computer screen, the pictures still ingrainned into my mind. In only 35 seconds lives where lost or changed. I couldn't wrap my mind fully around it at first, I was in shock.



I remember after I got home from work I cried and cried on the basement floor, just asking God to protect all the people I love. I also asked him to spare lives and be in Haiti. That next week was probably one of the hardest I have ever lived. We had no idea if the people we love were alive or dead...I remember asking God, "WHY? WHY? WHY?" I just didn't understand and still don't really...but I do know that I am not God. Being down there in March (and hopefully going down again very soon) has completely changed my look on life. You can't see that kind of devestation and pain and just walk away. Still, right now, many Haitians are still living in tents, diseases are spreading fast and rape is at a record high.

These people still need help!
and WE need to suppor them, in whatever way we can. Money, supplies, time, prayer...whatever you can give is well appreciated.



My heart continues to break for the country of Haiti. I am so thankful no one I knew/love were killed in this devestating event. But my heart aches for those who did lose a loved one in those 35 seconds.



It is really hard to remember that God knows what is going on in Haiti. It is hard to remember that he knows what he is doing. It is hard to have faith that he will help those in destress. But then I am reminded of great verse God gave to me one year ago, as I shed tear after tear for Haiti...

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

I can do nothing to help these people. I am just Katelyn. BUT I can give my life to God and he can use to me to help them. Just like he can use any of you who are reading this and have been wondering about how to get involved with helping Haiti. Stop just sitting there thinking and "planning" what MAYBE you can do and DO IT! Take a step of FAITH! Support Haiti financially. You can give money to OLTCH (who are still struggling), give money to Feed My Starving Children to feed children in Haiti, pray for Haiti, GO on a trip (contact me, I can give you information)...I encourage you now to, BE THE HANDS AND FEET OF JESUS!!! That's what we as Christians are COMMANDED to do.



God WILL get his glory through this mess of a situation. He WILL take care of his people. PRAY FOR A REVIVAL in Haiti!!! Pray against Satan's strongholds on this country. Pray that good leadership will come into power. Pray for the orphans and hurting children. Pray for those sick and hurting. We need to intervene for Haiti and ask God to help them! I believe this new year, God will do even more in Haiti!! He is a good God, who loves all of his creation!



Please continue to remember and pray for Haiti.

walk by FAITH!

2011, it is finally here! It is hard to believe it really. Wow, what a year 2010 has been, with all it's ups and downs. I fell down lots and yet, kept getting up and moved forward and here I am. I also had great moments of joy and laughter. What a year it truly has been. I remember laying on my bed around this time last year not really knowing what God had in store for me. In 2010 I went to Haiti and Thailand! That is just crazy. I now only have ONE more semester of school left! Time flies, for sure.

To type out all of the lessons I learned would be too much. Lately though, God has given me a glipse of how messed up we all are, including myself. I AM SO FAR FROM PERFECT! I sin. I don't deserve what God has given me. I think I am really learning this right now, how amazing Jesus' love is for me that he would die for me. He cares about what I do. God knows, he sees each tear I shed, he sees my struggles and heartache. But, without my struggles I would never learn. I would never realize how much I really cannot do life without God. My biggest desire is to grow closer to God. But you see, the world gets in my way. I slowly start getting (for lack of a better word) "sucked", thinking that I "need" all these things and I stop getting convicted...It is a battle, each and every day!!!

It is a brand new year to truly live my life for the Lord. The world will think I am crazy, I NEED TO BE CRAZY IN THE WORLD'S EYES!

These are just my thoughts as I lay here, reflecting and looking into the future. I will still struggle with so many things, but God is on my side and wants me to succeed. He wants all of his children to succeed! He has good plans! He is good!

What a BIG year this is going to be! It will be filled with so much, it actually overwhelems me to think about, yet I am somewhat excited. I will step into the "real world" on May 7th, after I graduate college! I will be a licensed teacher! That is what I have dreamed of being since I was 5. Also, I hope that at this time next year I can say that I have been back to Haiti at least one more time!! That is all in God's hands. I have to trust in him that when I am suppose to go, I will. period. Even though I can hardly see one step in front of me, in God do I trust. I walk by FAITH, not by sight.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Let God lead your life this new year. Walk by FAITH not by sight.

All I am for Him!
Katelyn

not sure...

After a long meeting tonight, with all the political unrest (the best way to describe it I guess...) in Haiti right now with the election and all, our trip has been postponed to April.

Of course I understand why, but it is still completely frustrating and I can't help but cry thinking about the fact that I have to wait 4 months to hold my baby again and be where my heart is. I don't understand God, I am not God. My heart breaks for the country and people of Haiti. God has given me a heart for these people. He is the one who has allowed a good portion of my heart to stay there. I don't understand it at all. I guess maybe I don't fully trust him, trust that he knows what he is doing. When you see the people you love go through so much turmoil it is hard to know that God is with them, loves them and has everything under control. With Haiti, you just never REALLY know what is going on. Things change constantly and stories always get twisted as they travel from one person to the next. I drives me NUTS that I can't know what is really going on. God is the only one who knows fully.

I AM SO CONFUSED right now with what God is doing.

I started writing a post a few days ago, before I knew that our trip was being postponed. Here is what I started to write:

My heart, my heart is still in Haiti. God has allowed it to be there and there it will stay. I don't think my heart will ever truly be anywhere else.

After a great converstaion with a dear friend today, I began to remember how much God really has done in my life in the past 4 years since I came up to Minnesota and started college. I NEVER would have guessed that at the age of 20 I would have been out of the country 2 times and be planning a 3rd trip. But that is why God is God, he can do even more than we can ask or imagine! How many of us actually take the seriously? I don't think we realize how great of God we serve. We get so sucked into our stupid American culture and think that we actually "need" things, when in all reality, we don't. I get sucked into all the time and it makes me sick to my stomach. I have fallen in love with Jesus and who he is. He is worth stepping outside my comfort zone and doing what he has commanded me to do. I am still a human though and like to be comfortable. I am still learning and growing. I am not perfect. Please don't take any of what I am saying personal, these are just thoughts I am wrestling with lately.


God is the one who told me to plan to go back to Haiti in January. Now, HE is the one stopping me from going because nothing can stand in the way of me going to Haiti, except HIM! I guess I am seriously just confused.

I WANT TO BE IN HAITI. period. But I just don't know what God has planned. I mean like what I started to write about before, I would have NEVER, in a million years, guessed that God would allow my heart to break for Haiti, or any other country for that matter. But once you step out of your stupid bubble and see the horrific lives people live around the world, something changes in you. You realize that there is more to life than just your stupid "problems". You can't just look away anymore once you see children wearing barely any clothing on the side of the road, starving to death. 167 kids die DAILY in Haiti, from simple sickness that can be so easily prevented and cured. That is WRONG! GOD, WHY?!?!? I don't understand. and I will never undersatnd. I just need PEACE Lord, that you have Haiti in your hands.

Please pray for me as I wrestle with thoughts.
Pray for Jasmine, Greg and all the kids (their safety and health!)
Pray for Rigan, as he is working in Port-au-Prince
Pray for Evens, as he is working at a new nursing job.
Pray for Lott-Carey Church and school.
Pray for the nursing school FSIL.
Pray for the Haitian people, the election, against any strongholds Satan may think he has on this country!

WE NEED TO PRAY, NOW!

As for as donations for Haiti, I will still be collecting them. Just email me if you have any donations and I will schedule to pick them up from you sometime. (my email is katelynmariem@yahoo.com)

Thank you for all your prayers. i will be blogging again soon probably. All my love.
Katelyn

Needs?

These past weeks since I have been back in the country have been some of the craziest weeks. With teaching, classes, homework, work, directing the music for the Christmas play and living life in general, there is no way that I would have been able to do it without the help of God. I am not even sure how I am sitting here right now, but I am. In the past few days, being home, I have had time to rest and think. With Thanksgiving it was the time to reflect on all the things I am grateful for. At first, when you start making a list of the things you are thankful for, it is hard to start, but once I got started I was moved to tears. Here is just part of my list:

- a mom and dad, who are still married
- a brother who may drive me nuts, but makes me laugh
- a sister to share everything with
- cousins who make my life brighter
- grandparents who do love me
- a house over my head
- a nice, comfy bed
- clothes to CHOOSE from each day
- a straightner and hair products
- shampoo, conditioner, and soap
- a car that works
- a college education
- a bachelor's degree and teaching license (well, almost)
- the Bristol family and other Minnesota family
- a cellphone (actually, iPhone)
- a computer
- food, every day!
- clean water
- a hot shower with good water pressure
- heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer
(my list goes on, but you get the point)

I am so truly blessed with so many things that I take for granted every day. I need to remind myself more than I do now about how many things I do have and stop focusing on the negative things like how I will pay for this and that. It makes me angry to think about actually, how God has blessed me so much. It makes me sick to my stomach! But it is so easy to get sucked into this culture which tells me that I "need" all these THINGS, which will all fade away. You have to constantly remind yourself that you really don't NEED anything, but need to bless others because you have been blessed. Jesus said that it is hard for the rich to enter the kingdom of Heaven. I think I finally understand him now. It is so easy to get in the mind set that you need this and that because it is better or you just have to have it! I am guilty of this! But it has to stop! I have NOTHING to complain about! I make 100 times what the average person around the world makes!!

Francis Chan has made me really think about all of this...take a listen: http://churchwarnings.blogspot.com/2010/07/lukewarm-and-loving-it-by-francis-chan.html

It is going to be a challenge, since I live in the American culture, but if you would like to join in with me and live a life like Jesus and bless others with that which we have been blessed with, please join me. I am not saying it is going to be easy, or that I will not mess up and fall. I AM NOT PERFECT, but the Holy Spirit is convicting me right now and I had to blog about it and ask anyone else if they were feeling convicted too to join me on this jounery. I am sure within the next few days God will start talking to me more, convicting me more.

All I am is for HIM, not me. (although, that is easier said than done, things need to change and I need to renew my mind in him every day to stay focused on what truly matters)

Here is a verse God gave me today:
I Corinthians 3:18-19
"Stop fooling yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world's standards, you will have to become a fool so you can become wise by God's standards. For the wisdom of this world is as foolishness to God."

LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN...

I knew this was coming

So, I have been back in the states for almost a week now. It has all really just been a whirlwind. I went to the doctor and found out my foot is only badly sprained, unpacked, cleaned, saw some friends and family :), enjoyed many great "American" things, repacked, drove 6 hours to Minnesota, unloaded, unpacked, saw Kari, Will and Hayden :), went to my new school where I start teaching on Monday to get my I.D. and see the school, went grocery shopping, met the Bristol girls :) and went to the Crown football game in downtown St. Paul...whew! What an crazy 6 days it has been. I have hardly had any time to process not being in Thailand so now as I lay here on my bed, although it feels so good to be back to Crown and I could not be more thrilled, I am hit with this realization that I am really not in Thailand anymore. To be honest, it is very hard to describe in words. I really miss my students. Seeing them on the background of my computer just isn't enough. I think that I am finally starting to process, which is a good thing because I really need to process this [whatever 'this' means. not quite sure yet]. I totally have to rely on God to help me know how though...I am completely clueless on how to do this...It was hard coming back from Haiti, but that was so different in so many ways...

As I lay here on my bed typing away my thoughts, trying to process through them, I look at my lights I bought in Thailand. They are so soft and beautiful and remind me so much of Thailand. I can't tell if it makes me happy or sad...I am so grateful that God blessed me with the opportunity to go and learn so much by teaching in Bangkok. Yet, I am so grateful to be back here in Minnesota with all my friends! I am not sure how I should be feeling right now. No one has really told me and I guess no one really can...I think maybe I should just go to bed because I am just in the mindset right now of just going in circles. Please keep me in your prayers as I adjust back and am missing many people in Bangkok.

All I am for Him,
Katelyn

I serve a GREAT God!

So, I just wanted to blog quickly about how amazing and wonderful God truly is. This morning I was really struggling with doubting how things were going to be okay if my ankle is fractured. I was talking to my family and my mom kept telling me that God has a plan, but even though I knew that I had a hard time believing it. (She also helped me focus on the positive instead of the negative) I spent time with God today, since I can't leave my room because I am on the 4th floor, and he really spoke to me and reminded me that He IS with me ALWAYS and will be my strength when I literally have none. People have been coming by left and right since school got out to bring me food and drinks and check on me. The school (ICS) has given me stronger medicine and a pair of crutches. They really do care about me. It is such an amazing school. Elsie also helped me set up for wheelchair assistance at all the airports so I will still be able to get home!:D The girls have been lifting me up with their words, laughter and sweet treats :) Actually, if something were to happen, right now is the best. (Not that I wanted to fracture my foot, but I am just saying) I am done teaching and actually have the time to rest and not walk around. God really is faithful and I refuse to focus on the negative anymore. Yea yea, I am not as mobile as before, but I am not dying and I will be just fine in time.

Get behind me Satan! God is with me and nothing you can do to me will stop me from praising His HOLY name! To God be the glory, forever and ever! Thank you for your continued prayers. Please keep praying! I can't wait to see you all soon!

To God be the Glory!
Katelyn

the unknown

So last night, the girls took me out for one last night of fun before I head home on Saturday. Little did I know what was going to happen. As we were walking down the freakishly small steps in Bangkok, to get on the bus, all of sudden I fell. To be honest I have no idea what happened and am kind of embarrassed because I do not know what I really did. What I do know however, is the fact that I landed on my left foot/ankle and heard 3 loud cracks. I almost passed out because of I thought immediately, I just broke me ankle. This is my weak ankle, always has been since I was 9 and played soccer. I would always twist, sprain and roll this ankle so it has been weak and giving me problems ever since. I sat down on the steps as the girls and Grant, one of the husbands, tried to get me to move my foot to see if it was broken. Well, I could move it, but it didn't feel like it always does when I hurt it. I wrapped it, iced it, and kept it up all night, but had to still do some walking to get home. When I woke up this morning, I could hardly move it, but I was expecting that since it had been still all night. It isn't black and blue, but definitely hurts a lot. This just adds to everything and makes traveling home all that much harder.

I don't know what to say. The unknown has happened. I would have known that I would do this with only 2 days left, right before I have to sit on a plane for 24 hours and rush around an airport. Believe me, I don't understand why God allowed this to happen right now. I mean, I know, I am a clutz and this really isn't out of the ordinary for me, but right now, really? COME ON! I can't afford to stop walking, there is so much to do. I am frustrated and a little scared about how this really does affect everything in the coming weeks. BUT, God is on my side. He is with me. I cannot forget that. I would really appreciate your prayers right now. I love you all.

when one door closes...it is difficult.

[[When one door closes...it is difficult!!]] I know, I know, you are thinking, that's not how it goes, but it is the truth! My adventure teaching in Thailand has come to a close. [I have begun to pack!!] It has truly been an amazing experience and I have learned so much from this experience. I have learned things I don't think I would have ever been able to learn in the states. God has been so truly faithful to me while I was here, providing every step of the way. I was able to pour into the lives of these children and have really grown attached to them. I am going to miss seeing them, spending time teaching them, getting frustrated with them, laughing with them, seeing them grow and learn. I am also going to miss all the friends that I have made while I was here. These teachers are great! This school is so wonderful!

Leaving...it is hard. However, it is different leaving here than leaving Haiti. I know that these kids, even though that 80% of them are Buddist, they have a good home and I know they will not go hungry. It is still hard though. They need Jesus just as much as the orphans do. I am suppose to leave now, God is calling me to something more in the states and I know this, so therefore, I will go with a good attitude. It is about the Lord, not myself. I do have, possibly, the chance to come back and teach at this school (and get paid for it) next school year in second grade...(it was thrown around loosely by the principle that there will be at least a 2nd grade teaching position open, and more position will open closer to December for next year)...so, who knows, maybe God will lead me back here...I wouldn't mind it if that is what HE wants for me, but yea, that is a lot to think about...I will overwhelm myself if I think about it right now. It is time to get on my knees and pray. God will show me where I am suppose to be! I trust Him!

I am very much excited to see everyone in Minnesota again though. Although, I am not really looking forward to winter quite yet, but hoping for some nice autumn weather when I get back! [fingers crossed!!!] It is going to be strange though, being back in the states. I really have been outside of America for a decent amount of time! I know God will help me transition back...it is going to be insane though! But with my God, I can scale a wall :)

Pray for me though, I really do not enjoy traveling. Pray for safe travels with no mechanical issues on the planes and no delays! Pray that my luggage arrives on time and that I can get SOME sleep on the planes, although I think that is highly unlikely...it is the inbetween times and not knowing if I will make my connecting flights that I do not like about flying, not necessarily the flying itself. Other things that have been creeping into my mind have just been little things like will my bags be under 50 lbs, what will immigration be like coming back? will I run into problems? It is just all of the unknowns I have trouble not worrying about, but I have talked to several people who have helped me find peace with traveling back to America. (Many who have just made the trip to America and back to Bangkok recently) Pray for me also as I process all of my emotions. It is strangely more difficult than I thought it would be. I may never see these people again...that is hard to wrap my head around. I have had a lot of trouble falling asleep lately because I am just thinking and processing everything...my head feels like it is spinning 24/7. I know God is with me, but I would really appreciate your prayers. I will keep you updated and look forward to when I land in Minnesota and can use my phone again!! Oh happy day!!

All I am for Him,
Katelyn

change.

All is well in Bangkok! I enjoyed a nice time with Jessica doing touristy things yesterday.


I am excited for church this morning too! I love worshipping our great God with other believers around the world! God is so amazing! I love him so much! He is the reason I can breath right now and type this blog to you all. I will adore HIM!

Being with these girls is so much fun!

I now have only 2 weeks left here in Thailand. That is just absolutely insane! The time has just flown by! I just finished my schedule for my last 2 weeks...I have so many emotions right now that I am trying to process. [hmm, sounds familar...] Change [in general] for me is always hard. Although I am learning how to work through change, while God reminds me that he never changes and is leading me, it is still hard. I have loved it here in Thailand so much, much more than I ever thought I would. I mean besides Haiti, this is one of the first places I have been outside of the US and it sure has been life changing. I have fallen in love with these kids, the school, the staff, the community, the country, the culture...even though I may get frustrated at times, it is wonderful! BUT then half of me is so excited to get back to Minnesota and see everyone again [but I am not excited to enter back into maddness]. God keeps reminding me of everything he has helped me through in the past and I am assured that I can do anything with him. That doesn't mean it all of sudden gets easy. It is tough. I do still have 2 weeks here and will be soaking in all that I can! And you never know what God has planned in the future...maybe I will be back...maybe not. It's up to Him.

Me in front of the Grand Palace


Something else that I have been processing in the past few days has been...Haiti. [Shocker] What is really crazy though is that I am really not sure why all this has been coming up in my path lately. (It's been more than usual) Let me explain. As most of you know, God has really placed Haiti on my heart [although, lately I think he hasn't just placed Haiti on my heart, but all the poor and lost people in the world, but that's another topic!]Anyway, Haiti, but more specifically, Anaika. She is my little girl (who I wish so much I could just adopt now, but God is saying no) She is my joy. I have been thinking about her recently, so much. I know she is always in the back of my mind, but lately she has been more in my head than usual. I can't help but miss her. In chapel yesterday we talked about adoption and how when we ask God to come into our lives and take control, he adopts us into his family. One teacher shared a story about how her sister adopted 2 children from Africa and about how when you adopt a child it is not about you, but about that child. You do it, not because they can give you anything in return, you do it out of love and sacrifice. WOW! I don't know why this hit me so hard, but I was sitting on the floor trying to keep my self well-managed, since I was with my class. Anaika was pressed hard on my heart, but I knew that God has been telling me no to adopting her because let's face it, I am in no position to adopt a little girl, no matter how much I may want to. I am not sure why this all has been going on, but I just wanted to share it with you and ask you to pray for me as I deal with my emotions and such. Then also, please pray for Anaika, her safety and health, her learning, Jasmine and Greg who take care of not only her, but 44 other children. Remember to pray for Haiti. Do not forget the lost and hurting people!



Thanks so much for you love, prayer and supports as God takes me on adventures with him. And even though this adventure will end, I am excited to see where God leads me next. I just want to be with him, be where HE leads me! I will keep you all updated as I enjoy my last few weeks in Thailand!

Blessings,
Katelyn

purple lighting

Guess what...it is still hot and humid here!!! Yippie! *sarcasim!!* I seriously am looking forward to the end of fall, beginning of winter when I get home!! I am done with sweating! Although, it makes me super happy that my mom sent me apple cider that I can make :) It is kinda fall in my room, if I turn on the air really low...oh, wait my air is broke right now!! lol oh well...mai pen rai (bascially means no worries in Thai)

A few of the funny/fun things I can remember from these past few weeks:
* one of the other 3rd grade classrooms were really good and earned a party. They wanted a snow party...haha, so they ate popsicles, made snow flakes, watched a snow video clip and made snow with a snow machine...just thought it was super funny...
* my kids can now sing 'THIS IS THE DAY' in creole and it makes me really happy!
* the youth pastor from the church I go to...hhahaaha...most of you won't get this...

These past few weeks have been packed full of learning.
Learning how to:
~ manage a classroom full of 8 & 9 year olds who love to talk and talk
~ plan weekly lesson plans
~ teach to EVERY student (super exhausting and trying!!)
~ depend on the Lord for strength and sustainment
~ trust that following the Lord is worth it (even though sacrafice is necessary)

It sure has been a whirlwind. Although, I really have been enjoying it, I am very tired each night. The kids are learning though!! (for the most part) Teaching takes a lot of work, but at least I love doing it. Otherwise, I would probably have given up by now... I have finally experienced some of my "harder" days and man, they were rough, but I sure am thankful for all the love and support I have not only from my friends and family far away, but from people here. They are wonderful! I can't say it enough, but God has truly blessed me. Getting to know everyone has been so much fun and I know I will be sad to leave. God has taught me (even more recently) how it is, again, not about me. It is about what he wants me to do, if he wants me to, I will...period. Although it will be hard, in the end, it is worth it. My cousin is getting married tomorrow...I was suppose to be in the wedding, but God called me to Thailand to pour into these children's lives...it is hard and hard for me to understand at times, but it is worth it to follow where God leads me! (CONGRATS BRIBBY! I LOVE YOU!!!)

I was reading in my devotions this moring this from Oswald Chambers...

"The aim of the missionary is to do God's will, not to be useful, not to win the heathens; he is useful and he does win the heathen, but that is not his aim. His aim is to do the will of his Lord."

This is my 6th week here. I can hardly believe it. I have one month left here. I gotta admit though, I have been getting a little homesick and minnesota-sick. There are certian times when I just miss having reliable internet, air-conditioning, food, etc...There are times when I can hardly believe that I am really in Bangkok, by myself, teaching an entire group of children, by myself...I think back to when I was in 8th grade and people told me that I would never go to college because I wasn't "capable" enough. God sure has done some amazing things with me! Here I am not only in my senior year, student teaching, but doing it overseas! Wow! To God be the glory. Teaching these children is the most amazing feeling in the world. To see them grow and learn...priceless, hard to find words to describe it. That is why when I get frustrated with the little things, it doesn't matter. God wants me here and it is not about me. I think that is why he lets the things happen, to keep me focused on what truly matters. Teaching overseas, at an international school, is waaaay different (more challenging) than teaching in the states. Before I left someone told me that it would be like that...they were right. Mostly, it is because of the language difference. Even though they all speak english (some better than others) more challenges arise...So, this experience is so valuable to me and I am really, REALLY enjoying it...even the challenges! I am not exactly sure why God wants me here. I mean I know one reason is to help these kids...there just needs to be 2 teachers in this classroom, but I am thinking possibly it is also because God wants me to be prepared to teach overseas in the future?!? I don't know, we will see. For now, I just need to focus on graduating! (I am also learning that I can't really look at the big picture...I just take it one step at a time. I can focus on God though and he is pretty big!)

I have extended my Thai vocabulary, which has been fun. I can now say don't worry about it, no spicy (lol, yea..few weeks go..ate a pepper by accident...almost died, not going to lie!), I can count, say hello and good bye, say iced coffee (suuuper important one lol), ask someone how they are and give a response, say coconut (lol) and say thank you. I am learning! It has been fun! Jessica is teaching me...slowly. I have really been able to experience more of who God is. I can see him all around me. Working in not only these children, drawing them to him (they have so many questions), but also in nature all around me. I saw purple lighting for the first time in my life a few nights ago...WOW! AMAZING! God is so much bigger than I even know! He amazes me and it is crazy that he loves me and wants me.

I have one more week of full teaching before I have to start to 'fade out'. Please pray for me in this next week. I am getting sick...I am praying it is just a cold and nothing more. However, it is my last week fully teaching and I want to be able to do it well! I have to admit, being sick in hot weather is very strange...I am not use to it and my air broke a few hours ago...God is in control though. Thank you all, so much for your prayers. God is moving! Pray that the kids keep asking questions and that God will just USE ME (and that I will just keep my eyes focused on that!)

I love you all.

All I am for Him,
Katelyn

one.month.

I can hardly believe that I have been here, in Thailand, for a month now! Time is just flying by! I have really been enjoying life here, a lot. I have been getting out more and been learning how to communicate better with the people. Not only have I been able to connect more with the Thai people, but with the staff at the school and the friends I am making! Leaving will be hard. I still have 5 and 1/2 more weeks here though and look forward to these weeks to come!

Also, God has been teaching me so much. I have been learning how to let go of myself, how to die to myself every day. It is not about my desires, my wants...me, but is about GOD! I haven't got to the point yet where I can fully give God everything, but I think I am getting there. I have to admit though, it is definitely hard to die to myself. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster emtionally a lot of the time... I miss Haiti, yes, but I am here in Thailand and these kids that I am teaching need to know God and need to be loved! And I have the amazing opportunity to love on them and teach them about Jesus and the Gospel!!! I know I will be back in Haiti sometime soon, but even if I am not, I will still praise the Lord and know that HE will lead me exactly where he wants me if HE wants me back Haiti, nothing will stop me from getting there! BUT...
...All I am for the Lord...

Today though was my first day fully teaching and managing the class all by myself! It was absolutely wonderful! I loved it, I love teaching so much!!!! The kids are so great and fun to teach. One of the little boys, David, came up to me at the end of the day and said, "Miss Katelyn, it was your first full day teaching everything!" and I said, "Yes, it was!" Then he asked me, "Did you have fun?" I smiled and replied, "Oh yes! I had so much fun teaching you guys today. I love teaching you!" He is so cute! Overall, it was a good first day and I look forward to the weeks to come as I continue to teach on my own. I am learning and if I just stay organized and on top of everything, I think I can keep my "bad days" at a minimum. I know they will come though, but God will help me through them. Thanks for everyone for all the prayer! God is hearing you :)

Well, Jessica and I are going to drink our coconut/banana smoothies and watch Step Up! I'll write again soon!!

All I am for Him,
Katelyn