a Sunday overseas

I love going to church overseas. There is just something about it that gives me goosebumps and smiles the entire time I am at church. Being with my brothers and sisters who live so far away from me almost brings tears to my eyes. Today, I went to the biggest Thai church in Bangkok, with Jessica. It was a wonderful church and I hope to attend there every Sunday I am here. It seems that churches overseas are less time concerned and more focused on just worshipping the Lord, which is what I love doing! They will just keep singing if the spirit leads them too. It is so wonderful!! (But yet they don't last for hours upon hours.) They have an english translation of the sermon you can list to so you can understand the sermon, which is really neat because you can still be in the church with the Thai in the background, yet you are able to understand what is being said. While we were worshipping together today (in Thai and English) I almost was moved to tears a few times. I was just thinking about how amazing it was that even though we don't look the same or speak the same language we could still worship our Savior together. It is experiences like this that I live for and look forward to while I am here. I could feel the presence of God in the church and its a feeling I love getting. The last time I really had it was worshipping with my Haitian friends back in March. It was fun because when we were singing 'This is the Day' I was singing it in Creole instead of English :) I have been "falling in love" more and more with this place as I get more settled and such. I can now say a few things and actually feel comfortable saying them, have been trying more and more food, and have a better sense of direction, well somewhat. Thai people are so sweet and friendly I have loved getting to know them more. The language is still tough with the tones, but I am getting use to it. God has really been helping me! He is faithful! Even though I know I love Haiti and miss it very much, God is showing me a new love I have for Thailand. He is teaching me that I can't be focused on either Haiti or Thailand...my only focus needs to be Himself and what he is going to do. I need to take myself out of the equation! The sermon today was really good. It was on keeping the altar in your life burning. I am suppose to be a living sacrifice daily for the Lord. It is not about me. This is something I think God is working on hard in my life right now. All I am is really for Him! It doesn't matter if my computer is acting up and is really difficult to use right now or if I can't speak or understand the language around me...God is what my eyes need to be focused on. I need to continually thank him for everything he is doing in my life and thank him for the things he has blessed me with. And then I need to continually offer my life up daily as a living sacrifice to him!! He is all I want and He is worth it! This is a learning journey for me and I am looking forward to learning along side of many other people :) I am not perfect, but I have a God who is. He will help me as I learn!

Learning how to crucify the me in myself daily,
Katelyn

A city of 10 million

Bangkok is a wonderful city. It is hard to explain what it is like, but it is funny because as I was walking around yesterday with Jessica and Lissa, I felt almost at times as if I were in New York City and then a few seconds later like I was in Haiti and then in back in Bangkok. I guess the reasons are one, a city is a city. It has specific smells and sounds, but the reason I felt like I was in Haiti was because of some of the smells! It is crazy, but true. Also, though I think because of all the markets on the streets in certian places you just know that you are not in the states at all, but I feel more like I am back in Haiti. You can get things for so cheap at the market. You can also find some of the strangests things in the market too! I love the markets probably the best though. They are cheap and more fun to shop at. (You can usually bargin down a lot of things as well). Explaining Bangkok is a difficult thing to do though. Even through pictures, until you are here you can't fully understand what it is like. IT IS HUGE!! Think of Milwaukee...now triple that and spread it out all the way to Germantown (for those of you who live in Minnesota, take Minneapolis and St. Paul and double it!!) That is as good as I can get to giving a visual to how big this city is! I do love it though. It is filled with so many different kinds of people. The Thai people are very sweet and I am beginning to pick up on little words and sayings to communicate with them. It is funny though because I walking around on of the stores, which is across the street, today and they had western pop music playing (California Girlz to be exact lol). I felt as though I was back home. It was really strange, but sort of nice in a way.

I was able to finally get a tour of the school today and oh my word, it the most beautiful school I have ever seen. The set up is seriously awesome. I wish schools in the states had this set up. Hopefully I can take some pictures sometime and show everyone. The entire campus is big, but not confusing at all actually! I am going to love it. I saw Claudia's room and know I will fit right in. I am so anxious to get into the classroom. I wish it was Monday tomorrow!!

Tonight I ate at Pizza Hut, but what is interesting is that even though they have quite a few "western" resturants, they have crazy things at them that one can order that you would never find in America and their portion sizes are a lot smaller! My regular DQ blizzard was tiny, but very good!! It was another fun day getting even more situated and settled. My room is even more homey and getting to know Jessica and Lissa more has been wonderful. Yesterday, we went on an adventure exploring downtown Bangkok and it was really fun (picture on facebook). We went to Sima Ocean World and it was a blast. We also went to a few of the markets and got some good stuff for real cheap. I love that things are less expensive here! (Oh my, the rain is POURING!!! i can hardly think! it is the rainy season and all of sudden it will just start pouring for a few minutes and then stop and be done for hours...it is crazy! lol). Tomorrow I am going to a Thai church with Jessica. I really like having her as a friend to help me around because I am just not comfortable going places (in which a taxi or bus is required to get there) alone yet. I thank God that he placed her in my life here!

Thailand is very wonderful and I know these 10 weeks I am here are going to be some of the most amazing weeks of my life, but I still miss Haiti and have wished a few times I was there instead of here, BUT this is where God wants me and therefore I will focus on doing my best here, getting to know THIS city and THESE people and children (and students). I think once I meet my students and get to teaching my feelings will change. Don't get me wrong, I want to touch the lives of the people in this community and country. It is just that I still do miss Haiti. Especially when some of the smells make me think I am in Haiti. I am very much excited though to see all that God has in store for me while I am here! :) He knows what he is doing!!

Learning to Trust the Lord day by day,
Katelyn Moore

Safe and Settled in Bangkok

Well, after my 28 hour trip over I am finally here! What a trip it was! Tokyo was absolutely crazy. My flight was delayed almost 3 and 1/2 hours due to mechanical issues with the plane, but I finally arrived in Bangkok at 2:00am and arrived at the school at about 3:30/4am (their time). It is extremely humid here (I am very thankful I have A/C) and it is the rainy season, but it is very beautiful. I haven't gotten out much, but hope too this weekend! After I unpacked and got settled in yesterday, Elsie took me to Central Bangkok, which is one of the biggest shopping malls with all kinds of fun stores (including many "western" stores and resturants) and it is only a few miles away :). There is even a Starbucks in Central Bangkok!!(Seriously, I really do have it all) I went grocery shopping and such. It is really nice because the majority of the signs are in Thai and then under the Thai is English. And almost all the resturants and stores in the area have English menus! It is so nice! Bangkok is a huge city and I am a city girl, I will be just fine here! I am close to everything!! I love it. I had my first Thai meal yesterday and it was very good! I can't wait to eat more Thai food! Driving is opposite here and so that is taking some adjusting, even though I am not driving it is interesting still. Thai people are so nice and they are very quite. Walking around yesterday was fun, but I am still processing everything and trying to get over jetleg, but I like it here. Everyone has been so welcoming and friendly, it has really made it easier to begin to adjust.

My apartment is very nice. I love it! I am on the top floor, the 4th floor, all the way on the end. On my floor are all the single lady teachers. All between the ages of 22 and 26! I met my neighbor Jessica yesterday, I haven't met anyone else yet, but will today. We are all going to downtwon Bangkok. I love how God works though because Jessica and I are so alike! She is 24 and will be teaching 4th grade (one grade above me) and this is her first full year of teaching! She is such a blessing! We talked for a while over coffee yesterday and I am excited to get to know her better. I know she will be a big help to me while I am here. It is nice to have someone to call a friend! I just absolutely love how God knows exactly what he is doing! He is so completely faithful, from the big things, all the way down to the small things.. it blows my mind.

Monday I will start teaching. Yesterday and today are holidays so there is no school until Monday anyway. I am beginning to prep a little bit though and am very anxious to get into the classroom and meet the students. Claudia told me a little about her class and it is going to be a wonderful class to work with.

That is all I can really think about right now. I am still adjusting, but seriously, I can't say it enough, God is so wonderfully faithful and I am clinging to him still as I continue to discover Thai culture, make a few mistakes, and get over jetleg! He is faithful :) Thank you to everyone for your prayers! Pleae keep praying for me as I start teaching and continue to go through adjusting. I know my days will not always be perfect and I will have difficult days. This is where I am suppose to be though! God has me, I can feel his arms around me! It is the best feeling. Well, time to get ready for the day. I am going with a few other single lady teachers to downtown in a little bit!

In Him,
Katelyn

The time has come!

The countdown is done, which is crazy! My time to leave for Thailand has arrived. I can hardly believe it! My bags are all packed, everything is ready to go!! I can't even truly believe that tomorrow I am off to the airport to fly to Bangkok, to start my student teaching!!! I am filled with so many emotions. I am excited and happy, yet sad (that summer is over for me) and anxious! God has brought me so far. I would have never thought that I would be doing this, but it is not about me. God has replaced my old desires with new ones. Knowing 100% this is what God wants for me though is the only thing that I really care about. It is time to follow him as he leads.

It has sure been a crazy time the past few days though. I have been fighting my anxiety and worry, as well as some major headaches. I have been having a lot of migraines (a.k.a. spritiual battle) the past few nights and I haven't been getting much sleep. The reason I know this is because a few nights ago when my head was pounding hard and the pain was shooting through my head down my neck, I started to pray aloud and as soon as I said the name of Jesus, my headache stopped. God is on my side, regardless of what Satan tries to throw at me! If God is for me, who can be against me right?!? I know that God is going before and preparing everything...all I need to do is relax, trust him and let him "drive", but it is a challenge. It is so nice to know though that God is in charge of this all. He has provided everything for this trip. He is good and has blessed me with so many people to pray me through this and support me. (Thank you to you all. I love you)

I know that God is in control, but I would still love your prayers. I will keep you all updated on here and on my facebook in the days to come! I am looking forward to sharing with you all that God is teaching me :)

Prayer Requests:
-Pray that my flights go smooth and I make all my connecting flights
-Pray for me as I start student teaching. Pray that I can touch the lives of these children, as well as pass my student teaching :)


All I am for Him!
Katelyn

6 months.

I can hardly believe that 6 months ago at this almost exact time I was sitting at the kitchen table feeding Hayden a snack, enjoying his laugh and smile, having a good day, and little did I know that 3,000 miles south at about 5pm a massive, 7.0 earthquake would strike the poor country of Haiti, killing millions upon millions and leaving millions homeless and creating thousands and thousands orphans added to the ridiculous amount already. It breaks my heart. Last night I didn't get much sleep and I am sure tonight will be hard again. I don't fully understand why God allows me to feel such pain and heartache for Haiti, but all I do know is that I do feel this pain for a reason. Haiti has stolen my heart. God has placed a passion for it on my heart, one that I could never remove by myself. I feel so connected to everyone there and miss it more than I have missed anything before so far in my life. I sit here and look at pictures and being to weep, not just cry. There are so many people that I love in Haiti and even though it has been 6 months now, SO much help is still needed in Haiti and the Haitians need help! I go through waves of guilt each and every day, but above all else, I MUST trust in the Lord and rest in the promise he gives that he knows what he is doing and when the time is right I will return to help my borthers and sisters in Christ, all the people I love dearly. With the hurricane season upon Haiti, each and every day I try not to worry, but it is so hard not to. The tents are not holding up because of the sun and heat they are falling and with no real structures for most Haitians to use and the hurricanes coming, my nightmares seem to increase. It is though, again, a test of how much I trust God. I have to hand all of the people I love in Haiti over to God daily.

A few days ago, I went to a few seminars on Haiti. Seminars filled with stories about God's faithfulness and what we can still do to help. I found myself filled with tears, shivers and yet, joy. Going back to exactly 6 months ago right now in my head I am acutally shaking (which is making it hard to type actually but I will continue anyway). I can't even begin to even imagine what it was like for the Haitians there and I will never fully understand what it was like, but I like I said, God is allowing me to feel only a fraction of the pain the Haitians feel every day. I am so thankful every day that no one I love was killed in the earthquake, but this country is such despreate need!!!!!!! They pray each and every day for God to give them their daily bread, do I? NO! I don't have to! This is so wrong! Their faith is so much stronger than mine, they have ARE IN DESPREATED NEED OF GOD EVERY DAY to help them through. Their relationship with God is so much deeper than mine. I want to be desperate for God each and every second of every day. The Christian Haitians teach me so much each day. I complain and think that I have problems, but really, I DON'T! I have the good life, even if I don't make the amount of money I "need" too, I really am FINE! This is the hard lesson I learning...WHY DID GOD GIVE ME THIS LIFE? WHY DID HE PLACE ME IN SUCH WEALTH??? But yet, I just remember when I was in Haiti in March, how amazed I was at how much the Haitians praised and worshipped the Lord even though they really have nothing. This is one of the reasons, I believe, God allows me to continually feel the saddness and pain for Haiti. I have so much to learn from my Haitian brother and sisters. So, this is what I am aiming to do, learn and be wise with my wealth. Share it with those in need, whether in Haiti or in downtown Milwaukee.

Yes, I am student teaching in Thailand and I am very fortunate to be able to do this, but it is only because GOD supplied me with all the money to do so! My money is not mine, it is HIS!! I want to live a life of full surrender to him. This may seem CRAZY to the rest of world because they don't understand, but ultimately it is between me and God and if calls me I will go. That is what happened with Thailand. Going to Thailand will be amazing and graduating from college will be a wonderful achievment, but there is so much more to life. Now as the future is scary, I have one of two choices to make. I can either live in fear and saddness, focusing on the negative fact that I have loans and stuff to pay back, or I CAN FOCUS ON GOD AND GOD ALONE, keep my eyes on Him and trusting Him. This is the harder choice, but more rewarding. I need to focus on Jesus with all that I have!

Someday I will return to Haiti, I just know it! But for now, I will focus on Jesus and trust in Him with not only my life, but give him the lives of the people I love! I will still find ways to help Haiti in anyway possible. This does not mean the pain will not disappear because I really believe God is allowing me to feel it for this purpose to keep me on track and focused. Now, Thailand and student teaching is my focus...then who knows...Haiti may have stolen my heart, but God is ultimately holding all of me and I trust him to lead me. And if he leads me, I WILL FOLLOW!

Please pray for Haiti. Pray for Jasmine and Greg at OLTCH. Pray for Rigan and Evens, all the nursing students and Hilda. Pray for Anaika and all the children. Pray for Lott-Carey Baptist Church and all the church members. Pray that GOD WILL TRANSFORM THIS COUNTRY. Pray for all the Christians there, Haitian and non-Haitian. Pray for the government!

WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
Also, on BBC tonight at 6pm (central time) there will be a talk on Haiti, so tune if in if you can!

Eyes focused on Jesus, not the waves,
Katelyn

40 days!

In 40 days I will be on a plane, heading for Thailand! That is so crazy to think about really. People keep asking me if I am ready and if I am nervous? The whole traveling and living abroad for a while is not what makes me nervous, it is student teaching that gives me the chills. I know I can do it and am very excited, but I am still a little nervous! Being out of school for a while, I am just slightly worried that maybe I won't remember how to handle things in the classroom or be able to teach the chidlren good enough. I have been reviewing some stuff, but still, it is kind of scary to think about. I'm super pumped though because my cooperating teacher is wonderful and I look forward to working with her! Plus, Thailand will be amazing :)

Switching the subject...

God has really been teaching me, once again, about how I need to put ALL my trust in HIM and Him alone! Like I have said before, I have no idea how I am going to pay for school next year. There aren't many options for me. It is nerve wrecking trying to figure out how I am going to make it through my last year! BUT this is not my problem. God promises to take care of me, all I need to do is trust and seek and follow after Him, with all my heart. I recieved an email yesterday stating that I have been approved for the loan I applied for! God is good. This loan was the only option I had to pay for school next year. Although getting further into debt is not my ideal plan, I have no choice. Thinking about how long it will take for me to be released from my debt is one of the worst feelings in the world and I have been wrestling with it a lot lately. After I graduate next year, paying off my debt will "tie" me down. What this really means, I don't know, but God knows what is going to happen and why I am going to have to stay here for a while and pay back my debt. I don't regret going to Crown at all! Who knows where I would be right now if I wouldn't have listened and obeyed in June 2007!! I know without a shadow of doubt in my mind, Crown is where God wants me! I just start thinking about the "future" and get overwhelmed. I ask questions like how am I am going to be able to pay it all back? I thought you wanted me to go God? I say to myself, that is impossible, but...GOD JUST PROVIDED EVERYTHING I NEEDED FOR THAILAND, RIGHT DOWN TO THE PENNY!! I look back further at all that God has done for me in the past and realize, DUH!, God does love me and WILL take care of me! I don't have to worry I have a father who cares about me more deeply than anyone ever can. He sees the bigger picture and understands why I am upset BUT wants me to come to him and admit that without him I can't do it...I keep hearing one little question over and over in my head, "Katelyn, do you trust me?" I love God and want to serve him no matter what. I want him more than anything, even more than to be in Haiti right now (which is a lot!). I just need to keep my eyes focused on Him and remember all that he has done for me.

I have absolutely NO idea what the future holds for me, but I don't need to know that. All I need to know is more about God. I need more of Him. When I seek after him, he will give me the desires of my heart, he will give my dreams wings. I could ramble on and on about the plans that I could make for myself, but as hard as it is not to do that, I think I like it better this way. ALL I AM FOR HIM, I can't be in the picture! This has been a big struggle for me. When God is telling me no, no I can't be in Haiti right now, but I watch my friends go and be the hands and feet of Jesus, it literally kills me. I am always thinking and praying for Haiti and all of the people I love and miss there. But it is not about me, it is about God and my place is not Haiti right now. Just a few days ago God finally got through my thick head...I NEED TO LOVE GOD MORE AND SEEK HIM. period. end of story. So, this is what I am going to do. He is the only one I need and the only one who can help me and sustain me. I WILL TRUST HIM! My life is in Him, my hope, my strength...it is all in Him!

It is all about you, Jesus.
It's not about me, as if you should do things my way.
You alone are God and surrender to your ways!

Never stop seeking the Lord!

Thank you to those of you who have been praying for me! Please keep praying for not only me, but Haiti as well. I will keep you all updated as I get closer to leaving for Thailand and such!

In Christ,
Katelyn

The pain is real

These past few weeks have become a blurr. I can hardly remember what has happened, even though I am not doing much with my time...I still feel so unsure about what I am suppose to be doing with my time right now. But the reason I am writing tonight is not related to this, but to the pain I am feeling right now. As I lay here on my bed, all of sudden I am hit by a tremendous amount of pain. Not physical pain, but emotional pain. I have been crying so hard for the past 10 minutes. The reason...Haiti. I truly miss it so much. Not only do I just miss it, but my heart breaks as I think and pray for everyone there and how much I wish to be there, yet am not. Here I sit on my bed, nice, comfy bed, doing NOTHING! The pain I feel is real. I long so much to be there, not here. I can't help but repeat it over and over again, my feelings as to how hard it is be here instead of there. I don't understand. I get what I am doing.

All I want to do is obey God, but this is harder than I could have ever imagined. I have know idea what is going to happen next. I feel so completely lost and alone. Next year sits in the unknown as I have no idea how I am going to pay for it, I feel like I am completly wasting my summer away doing nothing and almost every second of everyday I think of Haiti and although the memories are good and I woudln't trade any of them for anything in the entire world, some of my memories haunt me. When I wake up and realize that the children aren't really next to me and I am not in a tent, but my house, I can't help but cry. I am so frustrated. I know that God is calling me into missons, but how can I do that if I don't know what I am suppose to do. I don't even know if any of this is making any sense!!! These are just my thoughts, frustrations and pain.

What am I to do?? How do I go when I don't even know where I am to go to? How do I stay strong when I can hardly move at all? Where am I suppose to go after I graduate? How am I suppose to be pay all my debt back? How am I suppose to pay to continue to live? I FEEL LIKE MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!!

I feel so far away from God and it is the worst feeling in the entire world. Maybe that is why the pain feels so real.