The last few days have been completely crazy, to put it in the best way possible. If I was to begin to describe to you all that has happened I would probably just write on and on so I am going to spare all of you that and just tell you that since February 1, my life has been in a whirlwind. I have literally reached bottom, and I thought I had been at bottom before. I have shed many tears in the past 12 days. It truly has been rough, but through it all I have seen God at work and even though there were and still are many times when I want to just give up, God keeps giving me just enough strength to make it through and has placed many wonderful people in my life to help me through this time of trails. It brings tears to my eyes to think about how even when everything around me is falling apart, God has me tight in his arms. I am protected and loved. And when doubt comes rushing in I have to keep reminding myself of who MY GOD is! (Many people help remind me as well!) I am really learning about how even though things around me are constantly changing, God does not. And that's what gives me joy, hope and strength. It doesn't matter that things around me are changing, that people are coming and going in my life, that my schedule doesn't always go as planned. I serve a God who is bigger than all my problems (and schedules) and who loves me and PROMISES to take care of me, through it all! THAT is where my faith and hope lies. This really is what I have been learning more about...faith and hope (with JOY!) God has really just been giving me a bigger picture of who he is by stripping almost every security out from under me. I am not going to lie, it has been and still is extremely tough, but it is only when I am at my lowest that I feel and see God the most, which is totally wonderful.
On another note, God has also really been laying other things on my heart. I really think that God is calling me into missions, whether overseas or the inner-city somewhere, God is definitely calling me. I feel it in my gut. My heart just breaks for the lost and hurting. Especially today, I couldn't figure out why Haiti was on my heart so heavy today...it's the 12th. Its been 1 year and 1 month today since the earthquake. I cannot wait to be back there again. My heart is longing!!!! Only 51 more days! It is funny. I NEVER would have thought 8 years ago that I would have gone the places I have gone in the past few years. God has really changed me. He's given me his eyes and you know what, from that comes my heart just breaking looking at all that I see. It is crazy. I still can't believe that I was in Thailand for almost 3 months. I use to hate traveling and although I still do not like packing and flying isn't my favorite, I miss it. I miss Thailand. I miss Haiti. I miss so many things that it can become unbearable sometimes actually and I need God to really help me and calm me down. I wish that I could just go back to Thailand for a few weeks and see everyone again. I guess even though it was all stressful, flying and traveling overseas, it was also exhilarating! I actaully miss it. I also saw God in such amazing ways! I picked Tim to the airport tonight and realized how much I want to travel again. Funny. 8 years ago I would have told you there was no way I would travel overseas, getting out of my comfort zone, but now...wow! God has done some great things with me, things I would have never imagined! I know I am kinda being redundant right now, but I am just blown away by God...he is truly amazing! I hope that one day God can move me around even more as I share his love with this broken world!
All I am truly is for him. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me. I have been feeling your prayers as God teaches me some priceless things. Please continue to pray for me. I am in my last semester and my car is no more. Stress is insanely high, but I know I can count on God. And to all of you who are at rock bottom right now too, I want to encourage you and tell you that you are NOT alone. Do not listen to that lie anymore. Seek God and you WILL find Him. He wants to cover you in his love, mercy and grace. You have the choice to let him or not.
Ephesians 3:20-21
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
rock bottom and getting STRONGER,
Katelyn
